Chapter XXIVLXXVIIIVLMMXXCCXXXLL: (which is also my pants size) (budum chh, I jos' keeding!)
Well on.. umm.. Damn, days are hard.. Sunday? yeah let's say sunday. oki on sunday we made the voyage to black butte. I slept the whole trip. When we got there my family was anoying so I ran ut into the woods and fed the deer. They ate from my hand and let me pet them, that's always fun. There was this really cool buck that had one horn, he'd come up to me and make all these funny sounds.
Then.. umm.. not a whole lot happened in black butte. Oh wait. Yeah thsi one time, we had just come back from eating at this disgustingly fancy place that was way cramped. I was kinda frustrated and agrivated and wished that I was back home with all my friends watching moives and laughing and playing guitar and doing all the things I love. So I grabbed a flashlight, and ran away. It was nighttime, and completely dark except for the flashlight's light and the headlights of the occasional car. So I ran on the little bike paths and then walked once I got tired. I was singing the whole time, trying to think of a song to do for the musical audition. Then i came to the huge feild. The stars were amazing, so clear, and so many. I caught a frog and talked to it for a little while. Then I burst into song. Tryed to think of something that'd impress lauren, then I remembered that she wouldn't be at the audition. So then I tryed to think of something that would impress Bob. No idea. so then I just sang what I wanted to sing. I was out there for a long time. it was so great. But then I heard this little ciyote like yipping, and then this bloodcurdling Moo ( I was in the cow pasture). I thought a cow was being eaten, and maybe there was another cyote out there for me, so I bolted as fast as i ever have. I was out of breathe and I was still running. Then I kept hearing freaky sounds adn seeign freaky shadows, and then I had the scaryest hallucination I have ever had. Like I swear to gahd it was there, but it couldn't have been. I was probably just light headed from running or something, but it still freaked me stupid. I was physically shaken. Then I went up this hill and discovered that I had made a full loop and was back at the house we were staying at. So I went inside and fell asleep into a really bizarre dream.
Then we left black butte. I din't do any driving as was planned and was kinda bummed. We drove to Lake Chalan, Washington, the deepest lake in America (third in the world). It was an eight hour drive with stops, through the middle of absolute nowhere. We passed through a town with a population of 25. I shit you not. The whole trip I listened to Front Line Assembly. They're this like goth techno band. It's pretty damn neat, lyrics about the end of the world and drowning and killer robots and such. total nightmare music.
"As the sun burns out your eyes,
a new world will now arise,
Out of the ashes new life apears,
I final conquest without any tears.
This burning sensation won't last long,
Weakling, you must be strong,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
A metal form will never trust."
Oki, then we eventually get to the house we're staying at. For the next three days I'm sharing house with Mom, Dad, Andre, Gwen, Danielle, Aunt Luci, Uncle Uli, and our hosts, Reed and Nan. Now Reed is my mom's first cousin, He's a little bit older than her, and acts like an old folksinger. Then Nan is his wife, and she is way obnoxious. She one of those people who'll talk to you like inches away from your face with the tuna breath, and is always touching your shoulder showing you where to go, and laughs too loud, and completely controls conversations, making them go where she wants. I do my best to avoid her.
Then there's Rick and Jill. Jill is Reed's sister in case any of you are keeping track. She makes beautiful jewelry as a hobby. I wanted to buy this amazing blue and dark brown anklet for Lauren, but Jill makes them from precious stones, so it would've cost me more than I could spare. No family discount I guess. Rick is really cool too. He's the most mellow person I know. He's a carpenter and builds the coolest houses all by himself. And from those two was spawned the infamous Brooke. Brooke is the biggest teenybopper I've ever met. She's a cheerleader with more makeup on her than cloths. She's kinda pudgey, blond, squealy voice. Take Miss Piggy, and remove everything funny/good about that muppet, and you'll be left with Brooke. the cringe factor is high.
We arrived on sunday. We unpacked, mingled, then gwen danielle andre and i jumped in the lake at night. They all had swimming suits, I went in clothes. It was lots of fun. not that cold either.
Then Gwen and Danielle got in a fight and Danielle went home. So Andre Gwen and I went to the indoor swimming pool. We wanted to warm up so we went in the hottub, but then a whole bunch of cookiecutter, plain highschoolers and a couple of enourmous midlife crisis guys decided to join us. The teens were really loud and gossiping and the older men were really creepy. So the three of us decided to simultaniously piss in the water. And we did. Ah sweet revenge. Is that family bonding or what? Then Andre and I tossed Gwen around like a sack of potatoes (She's eerily light and can go completely limp if you ask her to). And I had a realization, Andre's hasn't gotten on my nerves at all this summer, we're actually friends, what the hell happened?
We came home at like 11, and Moby sang me to sleep. I was sleeping in liek this closet type thing with two bunkbeds in it. Gwen and I had the top bunks, and the ceiling was really close to my face the entire time. Not good when you're slighty claustrophobic.
When I woke up it was Monday. Rick brought his boat out and he took us (me brooke andre gwen danielle, in age order) to "The Cliff." Last year, this cliff was huge and intimidating. Turns out it's only fifteen feet. You can jump from higher, but I'm not that good of a rock climber. I jumped first the second I got up there, and everyone was impressed. They don't know about the barrels.
Then we went intertubing, which I am totally in love with. wolverine grip on that thing, ne'er fell off once, though a couple of times the water blinded me.
Then we came home and I tryed to nap, but Reed pulled out the karoke machine, and gwen and mom screeching "My Heart Will Go On" kept me up. Dad burst in the door yelling Run Away!! This thing even had a mike, and echoed throughout teh house. Adn Lucy's a professional singer, and makes everything sound like opera, which can be kinda pretty sometimes, but I was so not in the mood. Eventually you just gotta join them, and I did. The only song I really knew really well was Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and that was pretty cool. Then everyone sang "Like a Rolling Stone" by bob Dillon, which I had never heard before, but was way cool. Mom did an epic, angst filled version of that. Tehn I did Twist and Shout, way cool. And then all the girls and I sang "These Boots are made for Walking" which I did with flamboyant arm movements.
Tuesday we did more of the same, except a little more intense. Oh and they gave me the keys to the jetski. I'd never ridden one before, so I started going five miles an hour, then I squeezed the handle and was suddenly up to sixty, ripping over the water. Take the scene from Xmen when Logan rides Cyclop's motorcycle and then punches the turbo boost, put him on a jetski on a lake instead, and rename him John Duffy, and there you have it. It was a blast. I got so good at it after a while. Jumped this huge wake behind a massive tour ship thing and flew. twas great.
That morning I sent Lauren Greg Mere Jen and Tom vibes for the musical auditions.
That night, all the adults went to dinner, so the rest of us stayed home and made prank phone calls which to my suprise, Gwen is a master at. She's shpockin amazing. She keeps a complete straight face, een though everyone else is cracking up, and is really convincing. She had a four minute conversation with this woman, pretending to be a carpet cleaning service. The woman's name was Shirley Dinkel.
Then early wednesday morning Dad and I trekked back to LO, while the rest stayed in Chalan for another two days. Teh ride home wasn't bad, and Dad likes Front Line Assembly now. When I got home I hung out with Greg, yadda yadda yadda, the two of us aren't allowed to hang out with Tom because of some complicated shit I'm not allowed to talk about. "Duffy, you are a malicious bastard, aren't you?!"-Tom Maginnis. I'm such a good villian.
Then Thursday I woke up not knowing what the hell I was going to sing for my audition. I spent the whole morning singing "Pride (in the name of love)" by U2. A bit of it was used in Moulin Rougue. It's such a good song.
"One man come in the name of love,
one man come and go,
one man come, he to justify,
one man to overthrow.
In the naaaaame of loove,
One more in the name of love.
In the naaaame of loooooove,
what more in the name of love.
One man caught in the barbed wire fence,
one man he resist,
one man washed on the empty beach,
one man betrayed with a kiss.
In the naaame.. etc."
So then Greg and I walk up to the audition. He's going to sing Macho Man. We go into the little theater and mingle for a little bit. Liz (choir teacher) comes up and bothers me about changing my perfectly good schedule so I can have choir. gnar.
there's like over a hundred kids there (keep in mind this is lakeridge as well). Turns out we don't sing infront of everybody which is pretty poopie. instead groups of ten go to a separate room while the rest of us sit around, chatting. I'm in the last group. So in the mean time I learn the dance, which is way fun, except my knees and thighs got sore after the sixth time. And I did that damn dance so many times that I lost a bunch of my energy before my audition.
Hung out with a bunch of people I hadn't talked to in a long time, Merideth, Spencer, Jen, and this lakeridge girl named Brittany who I took tap with back in like fifth grade, and is friend's with spencer.
There was this little group of lakeridge kids staring at me a lot, and then one of them pulls me over and goes "That girl was wondering if she'd ever have a chance with you." It might've been a joke, but a confidence boost none the less.
Then I meet a bunch of lakeridge kids my age who knew Tom, and reffered to him as "Trick." Turns out Trick dated one of them, a funky girl named Olivia for like four monthes, but they never kissed. Olivia was kinda weird. Then there's this big physically unatractive (p.c. of me or what) guy named.. Zach who's really really charismatic, and we had lots in common. Then there's this girl, Turtle Smirk, who's pretty cool. She should be a vampire. So these are like a whole group of friends tom has, taht I didn't even know about. That boy has secrets. He should grow up to be a special agent.
Anyhoo they called me for the actual audition at 7 (I had been there since 3). And I was a bit rusty, and didn't really have much confidence, but I did pretty well. I sounded too much like ewan, not enough like john, but I sounded like shpocking McGreggor, so I was happy.
Yesterday (friday) I went to Bullwinkles with Gwen andre and danielle. It was kinda fun. But the car ride there was absolute hell. Teh car ride back was pretty funny. You see gwen danielle and I were jammed in the backseat, so to distract us from our discomfort we played thumb war. Gwen kept on talking about how cute my thumb was. Then she said something I couldn't really imagine her saying. Her eyes lit up like she had the best idea in the world, and she said "I have th best idea in the world for something you should do with Lauren. You two should totally have a tongue war!! Like one two three four I declare a tongue war! Man.. am I good at kissing ideas or what, johnny boy." *Mom gives nervous glance to Gwen* Oh man, it's going to be so weird when she gets her first boyfriend.
When we came home I had seven slices of pizza. I feel pudgey.
That brings us to today (Saturday; technically it's early Sunday morning, but I'm couning this whole night as saturday). I woke up ths morning after having a vivd dream about the first day of school. It's one of those dreams where you don't realize it's a dream until you wake up. Likeit moves fluently from event to event, and you don't notice that you can't smell or feel anything, and you know events couldn't ever happen, but that doesn't stop you from beleiving it's real while you're still dreaming. In this dream I was Romeo in the school play, Sarah Iverson moved to our school, Jay was dating Lauren, I was dating Anne Wagner, Tom was gay, and I got fist fights with Kyle Galloway, Justin Wilson, and Bryn Hubbard. And I was pretty much happy thorughout the dream, but very confused, trying to remember what happened in my life to create all of these changes. and most things were kinda golden colored. Oh and I drove the school bus because I threw the driver out the window because he looked like Bluto from Popeye.
Anyhoo, so I woke up and kinda reminded myself of my current relationships with everyone, so the dream didn't mess with my reality. Then I wrote lyrics to a tune I had made up in march, on guitar. Then I did yarwork.
And I don't know if I've told you guys this, but I hate grass. Well.. I hate domestic grass, the lawn kind you have to take care of. The smell of wet, cut grass in clumps that you have to pick from the mower and place in the yard barrel makes me feel like I could puke. It's an awful smell. And it feels awful too. And mowing the lawn is just damn frustrating. Especially when you need to swear loudly, but your grampa is right there telling you how he does it, as if you needed help. Gah.. hate it. Incase any of you ever wind up living with me, we're not having a lawn. We're having dirt and moss. that's it. or, We're having wild grass and thickets and thistles, and we're not going to ever cut it. There can be a path though.
Tonight I watched home movies with the cousins of when I was 7. As a really little kid I was eager for attention, but soft spoken and timid. Then at sevenish I got really loud and obnoxious. I was goofy looking too. I had a really small nose (It didn't become the sculpted peice of beauty it is today until fifth grade or so). and my tongue was freakin huge! Guess teh rest of my face grew more than it did, so now it's porportionate. man.. weird stuff.
I haven't talked to lauren in 7 days. I miss her and think about her a whole lot, but not as much as the other vacations. This is a good thing. I've gotten used to not being able to be with her every minute. She gets back from camping on.. monday right? two more days?
anyhoo.. that's all folks